If you can’t hear this message, please call

A message came over the tannoy this morning at work saying the following:

Good morning ladies and gentleman. If you are having any difficulty hearing this message, please call on XXX.

A beautiful piece of irony, especially given that there was no more to the message.

Comments

3 Responses to “If you can’t hear this message, please call”

  1. Shanahan on June 5th, 2006 02:19

    Sounds like good British logic to me.

    If you can hear this, find someone who can’t and tell them to call this number.

    Anyone not present please raise your hand.

  2. Shanahan on June 5th, 2006 02:30

    PUPILS: [yelling]

    HUMPHREY: All right, settle down. Settle down. [clunk] Now, before I begin the lesson, will those of you who are playing in the match this afternoon move your clothes down onto the lower peg immediately after lunch, before you write your letter home, if you’re not getting your hair cut, unless you’ve got a younger brother who is going out this weekend as the guest of another boy, in which case, collect his note before lunch, put it in your letter after you’ve had your hair cut, and make sure he moves your clothes down onto the lower peg for you. Now,–

    WYMER: Sir?

    HUMPHREY: Yes, Wymer?

    WYMER: My younger brother’s going out with Dibble this weekend, sir, but I’m not having my hair cut today, sir.

    PUPILS: [chuckling]

    WYMER: So, do I move my clothes down, or–

    HUMPHREY: I do wish you’d listen, Wymer. It’s perfectly simple. If you’re not getting your hair cut, you don’t have to move your brother’s clothes down to the lower peg. You simply collect his note before lunch, after you’ve done your scripture prep, when you’ve written your letter home, before rest, move your own clothes onto the lower peg, greet the visitors, and report to Mr. Viney that you’ve had your chit signed. Now, sex. Sex, sex, sex. Where were we? [sniff] Well, had I got as far as the…

    PUPILS: Umm. Mmmm.

  3. Yazz on June 12th, 2006 05:50

    What about the regular tannoy announcement by the same lady: “Good morning ladies and gentlemen, xxxxxx. I repeat: Good morning ladies and gentlemen, …”

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