Lambeth Council’s bulky rubbish collection anathema

Statistics are sometimes produced detailing the average number of times an individual interacts with government per year. Recently, I have single-handedly increased this figure by a significant amount, although my statistics may not be used in future reports, as outliers may be removed.

My ‘conversation’ has been with my local council, Lambeth. They have a bulky rubbish collection scheme, whereby Council Tax payers (of which I am one) can get up to eight specified bulky items removed from outside their property, four times per year. We needed to discard some belongings, so I decided to invoke this service.

On their first visit, they took the bed and mattress, which I’d left outside our railings, but didn’t bother with the two sofas and broken TV that were sat inside the railings. While they specify a day of collection, their policy is ‘any time between 6.30am and 6.30pm’, and the lady I spoke to in order to arrange the collection clearly told me to put my belongings ‘in your front garden’ the night before, as the collectors can arrive very early.

Despite phone calls every other day to Lambeth Council (I leave a day in between calls to confirm that their promise to come back the following day is indeed pure hokum), I am still left with a broken TV adorning the front of our house. The sofas only disappeared because a guy walking past on Sunday liked the look of them, and came back with his van to pick them up.

I was promised this morning that the TV would be taken away today. I’m not holding my breath.

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