Forty starts, forty ends

1. My uncle once: tripped up when I stuck my leg out at a party when I was a kid. Sorry.
2. Never in my life: have I ever done a bungee jump. I have little interest in doing one now either.
3. When I was five: I thought I’d got all my sums right, even after Mrs. Wallis put a cross next to them all.
4. High school was: something that came and went. It was OK. But they weren’t the best years of my life like everyone says they are. Oh, and I didn’t call it High School.
5. I will never forget: the first 22 digits of pi. I hope. (3.141592653589793238462) I learnt the first 20 decimal places, only to be asked the 21st by my boss. Obviously, I had to learn it.
6. Once I met: Boris Johnson. I presented to him actually—the results of a Spectator readership survey. He didn’t believe a word I had to say. Petronella Wyatt was there too.
7. There’s this girl I know: who’s not talking to me anymore. I have no idea why.
8. Once, at a bar: a metal, ornamental jug landed on my head, having fallen off a high shelf due to musical reverberations. I took it to the bar to complain. They thanked me for handing it in. I then went to the police station to report the incident. My friend hauled me out, which was wise. I was very, very drunk.
9. By noon, I’m usually: quite hungry. So I generally eat lunch.
10. Last night: I wrote six posts. I think that’s a single-day record. If not, it’s very close.
11. If only I had: remembered where my sunglasses were. I can’t find them anywhere.
12. Next time I go to church: will be for someone’s wedding, I expect. Or to next year’s summer fete.
13. What worries me most: is usually not what worries other people the most. I’m a bit weird like that.
14. When I turn my head left I see: some Olympic swimming on the telly. Everyone’s wearing those full body suit things. Adrian Moorhouse is commentating, and not doing a very good job at it.
15. When I turn my head right I see: our lovely newly-tiled balcony. It’s spitting though, so I won’t be going out there today.
16. You know I’m lying when: my body’s horizontal.
17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: the music.
18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: dead by now, I suspect.
19. By this time next year: I’ll be a year older, maybe a year wiser. I’ll also have hopefully completed my proofreading and copy editing course. Not been very diligent on that front. I expect we’ll be up to around 1,500 posts on this blog, and maybe around 2,000 comments.
20. A better name for me would be: difficult to think of. I like my name.
21. I have a hard time understanding: Mandarin. And Arabic.
22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: be a lot older than all the other kids.
23. You know I like you if: I engage you in conversation. If I don’t like people, I won’t go out of my way to talk to them, unless I have to for work of course. Or to order a sandwich.
24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: dependent on what the award was for. If it was for this blog, highly unlikely I know, I’d probably thank my wife for her dedicated indifference towards it.
25. Take my advice, never: eat celery, eat salmon sandwiches and remain young. That way you’ll know how to spell “necessary”.
26. My ideal breakfast is: Eggs Benedict with lovely fresh coffee, and freshly squeezed orange juice. My usual breakfast is either muesli or Bran Flakes.
27. A song I love but do not have is: Picture Book by the Kinks.
28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: keep driving. Don’t stop. Halifax has few redeeming features, beyond the Parish Church and the Piece Hall. You could pop in to my Mum’s for a coffee. I’ll let her know you’re coming.
29. Why won’t people: turn automatic spell-check on when they send emails from Outlook. Drives me mental!
30. If you spend a night at my house: could you give my daughter her 6.30am feed? That way I can have a lie-in. Ta.
31. I’d stop my wedding for: sure, given that I’m already married. I think it’s illegal to be married twice.
32. The world could do without: Comic Sans. And Times New Roman.
33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: that of a scorpion.
34. My favourite blonde(s) is/are: Reese Witherspoon. She’s lovely.
35. Paper clips are more useful than: credit cards when trying to pick locks, I reckon.
36. If I do anything well it’s: certainly worth crowing about.
37. I can’t help but: obsess about grammar. And spelling. Oh, and I can’t help but blog either. I do enjoy it.
38. I usually cry: at emotional stuff. I’m a bit of a softie at heart, but according to some recent BBC articles, it’s OK for blokes to cry.
39. My advice to my child/nephew/niece: is to have fun in life. And learn some stuff too.
40. And by the way: if you’re still reading, you’re quite a dedicated reader. Why not post a quick comment so that I can figure out how many people made it to the end. (This is the end, btw.)

(Ah, sorry. No it’s not. Thanks to Anna for prompting me to do this.)


4 Responses to “Forty starts, forty ends”

  1. Niknej on August 9th, 2008 18:32

    I did reach the end and enjoyed many of your responses – if I didn’t, I wouldn’t read your blog!

  2. Calum on August 10th, 2008 12:40

    Finished! Excellent wee blog, can’t really work out why I read your posts every day but I do and enjoy them. So thanks!

  3. Mike on August 13th, 2008 15:36

    I’m seriously unhappy about just how many times I keep coming back to read this stuff. What is even more worrying, is that I find myself laughing.

  4. Mr Farty on August 19th, 2008 00:43

    11 – Try your forehead.

    16 – Snap!

    26 – You and Anna both? I find Eggs Benedict a bit nippy.

    28 – Snap again!

    I think I’ll come back here, it’s fun!

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