Forty starts, forty ends

1. My uncle once: tripped up when I stuck my leg out at a party when I was a kid. Sorry.
2. Never in my life: have I ever done a bungee jump. I have little interest in doing one now either.
3. When I was five: I thought I’d got all my sums right, even after Mrs. Wallis put a cross next to them all.
4. High school was: something that came and went. It was OK. But they weren’t the best years of my life like everyone says they are. Oh, and I didn’t call it High School.
5. I will never forget: the first 22 digits of pi. I hope. (3.141592653589793238462) I learnt the first 20 decimal places, only to be asked the 21st by my boss. Obviously, I had to learn it.
6. Once I met: Boris Johnson. I presented to him actually—the results of a Spectator readership survey. He didn’t believe a word I had to say. Petronella Wyatt was there too.
7. There’s this girl I know: who’s not talking to me anymore. I have no idea why.
8. Once, at a bar: a metal, ornamental jug landed on my head, having fallen off a high shelf due to musical reverberations. I took it to the bar to complain. They thanked me for handing it in. I then went to the police station to report the incident. My friend hauled me out, which was wise. I was very, very drunk.
9. By noon, I’m usually: quite hungry. So I generally eat lunch.
10. Last night: I wrote six posts. I think that’s a single-day record. If not, it’s very close.
11. If only I had: remembered where my sunglasses were. I can’t find them anywhere.
12. Next time I go to church: will be for someone’s wedding, I expect. Or to next year’s summer fete.
13. What worries me most: is usually not what worries other people the most. I’m a bit weird like that.
14. When I turn my head left I see: some Olympic swimming on the telly. Everyone’s wearing those full body suit things. Adrian Moorhouse is commentating, and not doing a very good job at it.
15. When I turn my head right I see: our lovely newly-tiled balcony. It’s spitting though, so I won’t be going out there today.
16. You know I’m lying when: my body’s horizontal.
17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: the music.
18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: dead by now, I suspect.
19. By this time next year: I’ll be a year older, maybe a year wiser. I’ll also have hopefully completed my proofreading and copy editing course. Not been very diligent on that front. I expect we’ll be up to around 1,500 posts on this blog, and maybe around 2,000 comments.
20. A better name for me would be: difficult to think of. I like my name.
21. I have a hard time understanding: Mandarin. And Arabic.
22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: be a lot older than all the other kids.
23. You know I like you if: I engage you in conversation. If I don’t like people, I won’t go out of my way to talk to them, unless I have to for work of course. Or to order a sandwich.
24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: dependent on what the award was for. If it was for this blog, highly unlikely I know, I’d probably thank my wife for her dedicated indifference towards it.
25. Take my advice, never: eat celery, eat salmon sandwiches and remain young. That way you’ll know how to spell “necessary”.
26. My ideal breakfast is: Eggs Benedict with lovely fresh coffee, and freshly squeezed orange juice. My usual breakfast is either muesli or Bran Flakes.
27. A song I love but do not have is: Picture Book by the Kinks.
28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: keep driving. Don’t stop. Halifax has few redeeming features, beyond the Parish Church and the Piece Hall. You could pop in to my Mum’s for a coffee. I’ll let her know you’re coming.
29. Why won’t people: turn automatic spell-check on when they send emails from Outlook. Drives me mental!
30. If you spend a night at my house: could you give my daughter her 6.30am feed? That way I can have a lie-in. Ta.
31. I’d stop my wedding for: sure, given that I’m already married. I think it’s illegal to be married twice.
32. The world could do without: Comic Sans. And Times New Roman.
33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: that of a scorpion.
34. My favourite blonde(s) is/are: Reese Witherspoon. She’s lovely.
35. Paper clips are more useful than: credit cards when trying to pick locks, I reckon.
36. If I do anything well it’s: certainly worth crowing about.
37. I can’t help but: obsess about grammar. And spelling. Oh, and I can’t help but blog either. I do enjoy it.
38. I usually cry: at emotional stuff. I’m a bit of a softie at heart, but according to some recent BBC articles, it’s OK for blokes to cry.
39. My advice to my child/nephew/niece: is to have fun in life. And learn some stuff too.
40. And by the way: if you’re still reading, you’re quite a dedicated reader. Why not post a quick comment so that I can figure out how many people made it to the end. (This is the end, btw.)

(Ah, sorry. No it’s not. Thanks to Anna for prompting me to do this.)

Comments

4 Responses to “Forty starts, forty ends”

  1. Niknej on August 9th, 2008 18:32

    I did reach the end and enjoyed many of your responses – if I didn’t, I wouldn’t read your blog!

  2. Calum on August 10th, 2008 12:40

    Finished! Excellent wee blog, can’t really work out why I read your posts every day but I do and enjoy them. So thanks!

  3. Mike on August 13th, 2008 15:36

    I’m seriously unhappy about just how many times I keep coming back to read this stuff. What is even more worrying, is that I find myself laughing.

  4. Mr Farty on August 19th, 2008 00:43

    11 – Try your forehead.

    16 – Snap!

    26 – You and Anna both? I find Eggs Benedict a bit nippy.

    28 – Snap again!

    I think I’ll come back here, it’s fun!

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