Bus driver buttons

The number and range of automated warnings, requests and general snippets of information that are piped to me while on the bus of a morning has increased significantly of late. As well as telling me where I am before every bus stop, and telling me where I’m going after each, my fellow passengers and I are graced with requests for people to stand well clear of the doors, not to stand on the stairs or upper deck, and indeed confirmations that the bus is going to wait here for a few moments to "regulate the service."

I can only imagine that the driver has a plethora of buttons at their disposal, much like a Jean-Michel Jarre set-up, one for every eventuality imaginable. Maybe this is at the expense of the traditional, driving-related instruments. Maybe windscreen wipers had to go, and indicating is now a thing of the past.

"At the third time of asking, would the ugly bald man please understand that there aren’t any seats free upstairs, and that this bus won’t be budging an inch until you haul your ass off the stairs."

"And kids. Yes you. No, not you. You. Would you turn that fucking music down? Have you ever heard of the concept of headphones?"

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