Bog standard

I recently read a Facebook update from a female friend complaining that after six years of nagging, why was it that her other half continued to leave the toilet seat up.  A comment on the update from one of her friends explaining the ridiculousness of the request prompted this post.

First of all, terminology.  The topmost leaf of the seat will hereafter be called the lid; the one leaf with the necessary hole will be called the seat.

Generally, when women request that the toilet seat is left down, they mean just that.  They want the toilet seat left down, and the lid left up.  This is perfect for a lady, as both of her functions are performed with the leaves in this position.  No touching necessary.

For men, one of our functions is performed with the seat in that position; the other is performed with both leaves up.  So the ladies’ requests mean effort on the part of the man.

The request cannot be justified on hygienic grounds, because leaving the seat down (and the lid up) leaves any germs as free to escape into the ether (if indeed that’s what germs do) as if both leaves were up.  And it cannot be based on aesthetic grounds, as surely the most aesthetically-pleasing toilet arrangement is to have both leaves down.

So the only basis for the request must be one of convenience, which suggests that convenience for a lady is deemed more important than convenience for a man.

As for me, I have a relatively good track-record on this front (I can imagine my wife hovering over the Comment button as we speak), but tend to leave the toilet with both leaves down, thereby necessitating effort on both of our parts when visiting.

Interestingly, our cleaner always leaves both leaves up.


2 Responses to “Bog standard”

  1. Christine Morris on October 10th, 2009 14:26

    Hahaha insane post, but I will say that actually, you are correct and my theory is to put BOTH the seat and the lid down. The germs that come out when you flush is just disgusting, and that way all members of the household must life something up, so fairs fair.

    I’m training my sons now!

  2. Leonard on October 15th, 2009 19:12

    Before women lecture us on toilet etiquette, they should read up on the NHS website that a swab of their handbags will show up to 10,000 bacteria per square inch.

    Of course the average kitchen chopping board has around 200% more faecal bacteria on it than the average toilet seat, so how about we focus on more important things such as the up and coming Copenhagen conference?

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